Dear Universe:
So far this year, I've had 2 months of vertigo, the diagnosis of an obscure disease, and financial and weather-related disasters to keep me busy. I'd like to point out that while I like having your esteemed attention, I think we can both agree that this is not the kind of attention I would want. I therefore submit a request for a break. Specifically, I would like to request no fewer than 3 lost weekends, to be redeemed at the times of my choosing, in exotic locales with friends, where adventures will be limited to the "fun" variety.
I thank you for your consideration and look forward to your response.
Yours sincerely,
Jane
