Phoenix boots in red? Now, wasn't that thoughtful of somebody!

Who are these people at Luchese and what inspired them to make these phoenix boots?

They are conveniently not too high-heeled, as my days of sexy boots are few and far between, given that I've suffered from vertigo and need to keep my center of gravity as low as possible, lest I fall and bruise up my legs again (never a fun thing).

They are also not of the pointy-toed variety, which looks cool but really annoys my toes.

All I needed was $336 and a place/event to actually wear these boots. Then I could have bought them.  However, the practical side of me won out (this time).

But still, I wonder, what magic inspired them? And will there be cause for me to go back to this wonderful place and perhaps buy them?

I saw a medium a few months ago, and she told me that we all draw ideas from the same source. I've heard it called the Collective Unconscious.  I'm struck by these boots in that at some point, they were on someone's drawing board. Ever detail (feather, if you will) was planned and then executed in leather in such an artful way.

And recently I've been inspired by Diva's pictures that she posts and her artistic eye as well.  She and I really need to finish our collaborative book so people can enjoy it, and so that we can have the experience of having more of our work out there in the world.

I hope this note finds you well and amused at my odd fashion sense.  Phoenix boots! Whoda thunk it???

Yours truly,
Jane

A revelation, and an epiphany, about dating

Now that I'm getting all mellowed out, I'm starting to realize why I was single so long.

Things weren't a match.  I wanted things they couldn't give, and vice versa.

It's so simple, but took me years to see this.

It's amazing how easy it is to be with someone whose needs and wants match up with your own. Otherwise, it's just frustration and anger.  Goodness knows we have enough anger in the world already, but to have me out there dating probably just made it worse.

One of my exes had some form of autism. I could have been a lot more compassionate about it if I'd known, but I didn't. I am not sure if he knew, in fact, but it all added up.  He lacked social skills and seemed completely bewildered by emotions.  He focused intently on video games and was more interested in them than his girlfriend. I wanted a boyfriend who'd hug me and hold my hand, but he was  not comfortable with that. In my view at that time, he was a jerk.  Cold, heartless jerk. Now I know that he followed a script to get someone to date him but then had no idea what to do, and felt lost.  I remember how confused he would seem sometimes.  I was so busy being hurt by his seemingly head-up-the-ass behavior that I didn't have perspective on his struggles. I'm not sorry that we're not together, but I wish I could have understood this better.

Another one was depressed. I'm not sure how he is these days. It could be his normal state of being.  Again, I became impatient, wanting an affectionate, fun boyfriend instead of old grumpy. I was a clump of frustration leaving that relationship, but I did extend the olive branch later on and we are on friendly terms now.

I am starting to see this better as time goes on. Amazing how life is :)

-Jane

My girlfriends would kill me if they knew I was posting these pictures. Seriously.

It's been quite a summer, friends. Of course, it still is summer, and with that all the sweating and napping and taking day trips and all that jazz.

I've been to the beach a few times this summer. Once, it was sunny. I will explain.

Memorial Day brought my friend in S from out of town in the Big City.  She needed a few days of R&R. So we packed up some beach towels and headed to Howard Beach near Tarpon Springs.  I gave her my Elvis towel to use, which you can see in this picture. I love this picture because there is so much color in it, and it really captured the moment. She does not claim this picture and asked me not to post it on Facebook and tag her, which I have honored. However, since you, dear reader, probably don't know S, you get to see the picture.

A group of friends whom I've known since about age 16 also got together at the beach around the 4th of July- in the Outer Banks of North Carolina to be exact.  I drove up with two friends and met two more at our rented beach house.

Our rental house was lovely and had beautiful back porches on the second and third floors looking out upon a dune that, in turn, led to the Atlantic Ocean.  Say it with me- ahhhhh.   We were so psyched to be there.  But then, the weather did not cooperate. It rained the whole time we were there, until the last day when I had to catch a plane. Drat. But I did spend time with my friends before I left, while they enjoyed an afternoon in the sun, and this was the scene that I found on that one sunny day:

These girls absolutely refuse to be photographed on the beach, but I did it anyway. From far away, with their backs to me.

One is actually 7 months pregnant in the picture. She won't allow beach pictures when she's not pregnant! So of course this photo was taken in the greatest of secrecy, and never shared.

I do think, though, that it too has an idyllic look to it. Three friends sharing some good times at the beach, soaking up some rays, doing what they've done together for over 20 years.


It's unlikely that any of these friends will see these pictures, but if they do, I'm sure I'll hear about it!

-Jane

Hello again, Darlings...

Upheaval and change are the themes of this year, amigos.  But instead of having a dark and foreboding tone, like it did back in 2007, 2008, 2009 and even a little of 2010, life and the changes it's taking seem lighter and happier these days.

Where on earth should I start? Well, I ended up in my hometown earlier this year for a new job, but it doesn't seem likely that I'll stay for several reasons. One, I am in love with someone far away. Two, my job's probably going to go extinct in the next few months.  Three... well, the psychic medium mentioned something about getting into a different kind of work.

Yep, I saw a psychic medium. Diva did too. We went for our "big birthday celebration" this summer. Turns out we are entering a new decade this year.  The good news is, the window for our mid-life crises has closed if we can expect to reach 80 years old. Phew! I figure that being trapped in bumpkinland for several years, surrounded by salivating married guys doling out bad pickup lines and facing financial ruin via real estate investment does qualify as a midlife crisis. I AM SO GLAD THAT'S OVER!

She made some interesting comments, such as, "You know you're not going to stay in that job too long, don't you?" (The company announced it would be sold a week later, and my department will shrink significantly as a result.) My grandparents came through for me; they "always show up for these things," according to another family member who also heard from them through the medium.  My beau's grandfather came through as well, which I thought was cool, although I didn't know who it was until after the reading, when I could ask my boyfriend about it.

I'll know more about the direction of my love life "when the sun is in Libra," friends.  That is when my beau and I celebrate our one-year dating anniversary and he comes to visit me.  Will he bring an engraved invitation to move, such as an engagement ring? Time will tell. All I know is, that's my dude. If he wanted to go on fun vacations indefinitely, I'd be up for it.  I've learned to surrender my expectations on the dating front, and in doing so have recovered the joy of dating someone worthwhile.

As far as work goes, well, I haven't really used that degree I got back in 2007, so maybe I'll be able to do that in the future!

Anyway, things are up in the air as always, but all is well.  As my beau says, everything is as it should be.

Love,
Jane

Every Little Bit Helps

Yesterday was a day of tying up loose ends.  Honestly, the past year has been that in a lot of ways! But as I look around, I realize that I am making progress, slowly but surely.

This is how life is.

Case in point: I started exercising more a few weeks ago.  Lost two inches off my middle, and also lost zero pounds.  I want to fit into my summer shorts, so the number on the scale doesn't concern me.  But still- four to five workouts per week made a difference.

I awoke early and waxed the front portion of my car today. Seriously. I want a nap right now! But I am glad it's done.  Its surface is now slightly more repellent to dirt and bugs, and the windows are covered in Rain-X at the start of hurricane season.  I could have done more, but I needed breakfast and the shadow cast by the house was getting shorter and shorter as the sun came up.  I'm excited that what got done is done.

Some friends just moved into their first house. I am thrilled for them.  I noticed, when given the tour the other night, that they have stuff but not a lot of furniture. Since I am in flux and need to lighten the load, I have furniture stuffed into a room where I currently live, which is not likely to be where I will live in 6 months' time.  Soooo, I'm hoping that is a match. Maybe they can take what I don't anticipate I will need again.

We are whittling down my load, little by little.  Metaphorically and actually.  And goodness knows, every little bit helps!

I hope you have a great week ahead.

Love,
Jane

This is why it is good to have the same friend for a long time

Remember scouts? Goodness knows I loved being a girl scout. Learning new things, going camping, singing songs... That was the life when we were 7 and 8 years old. Good times.

One of the songs we sang went like this:

Make new friends, but keep the old,
One is silver and the other's gold.

Well. Recently I was reminded just how cool it is to have the same friend for a long period of time.

I've known M for 14 years.  I can't even believe it's been that long, but yes, we met when we were in our 20s.  It was a rambunctious time, and we attended many a happy hour in search of love and good times and revelry.

In recent years, we've both moved to different places (and then moved back), but with M, we can just as easily pick up where we left off, like when we're both "in town" at the same time.  This year, our "old" hometown is our "new" hometown again, and we get to socialize from time to time since we live within true driving distance.

These are the things we talk about: brothers, sisters, nieces and nephews, work, vacations, dating, other family members, what we should probably do with our lives, and so forth.  Having the familiarity of more than a decade makes most topics accessible, and sometimes we venture into the metaphysical, which is always fun.

Having a friend who you've known for a long time gives you clarity, too. They were there for different stages of your life, so who better to recall those times with? She said something to me recently that sticks out.  We were discussing my ex-boyfriend, and she said three words that validated my opinion, which were, "He was angry."

Strangely, I had just written something about him. My writing group (full of old friends, one of whom I've known since about 1994!) provided the motivation of writing about "the feeling of being stuck." And so, I thought about that relationship and wrote a story about it.

Part of me is always second-guessing myself, so when M said she always thought he was angry, I felt relieved. I have so many memories of feeling trapped in dealing with him, and I wonder if my view of him was altered by other things in my history. Hearing her succinct summary, though, made my day.

My writing buddy K happened to know the weirdo from my last post whom I completely ignored when I saw him (the weirdo) at the restaurant recently.  K told me, after I told him about the run-in, that, "He is a master manipulator." This reinforced my satisfaction with how I handled the incident, as with this weirdo in particular, if you give him an inch, he'll take a mile.

So, when I am in doubt, my longtime friends come to my aid with their observations and their humor too.  I know friends are great no matter how long you've known them, but sometimes the best sounding boards are the ones who know you and the other people in your life, who've witnessed the interactions and seen the effects.

Longtime friends, you are awesome!

Love,
Jane

Something Must Fall By the Way Side... You Heard Me!

My boyfriend recently asked me, from the Book of Questions:

Q: "If you could sleep for 2 hours every night and wake up feeling refreshed, and have the rest of the time to pursue whatever interests you wish to pursue, would you do it?"

A: Yes.  No, I mean: HELL YES.

Sometimes I have to sit back and wonder, Am I too motivated? This never happened to me in earlier years. I guess I was too busy then to stop and wonder if I was too motivated. These days, though, something always falls by the wayside. There is just not enough time for everything.

One time, when I was on vacation with a few of my longtime dear friends, we met up with a couple of older dudes on a river rafting tour. (They were impressed that we were there; their own wives were having a spa day.) They asked us what we did for a living, and I told them I was a writer, and then someone mentioned that I acted, and they asked what was my career? So I responded (and I hope that this doesn't or didn't sound too obnoxious) that I have lived many lives. I was busy all the time, doing all kinds of stuff. And, I still try, although I don't think I match the energy I used to have.

There is a quote attributed to Johnny Depp: "They told me I could be whatever I wanted to be so I did." And then there's picture montage of him as a groom, a dad, a brother, a tranny, chocolate maker, chocolate eater, psychotic writer #1, psychotic writer #2, psychotic writer #3, greaser, emo wolverine...

I suppose, in a way, that I wish I was more like Johnny Depp.  But we can be grateful that he functions as inspiration, both in the way that we are inspired with dreamy thoughts when we look at him and the fact that he is such a prolific and inspired actor.

Yours,
Jane