The road to a new life is paved with the bricks that you poop out in the process of reinventing your new life! (I've offered a relative some bricks to line her garden. I figure if I poop them all out, they should match and look lovely edging her garden, no?)
Hi everyone. Jane here. I'm going through every bit of my stuff- all my books, clothing, stuff, even shoes! and figuring out what stays, what goes to my new home, and what goes to the thrift store or gets sold.
And yes, it would be easier to go to an office and work all day long than stay home and do this!
In situations like this, though, you have to keep your eyes on the prize. There's only been a few other times in my life when I was able to move somewhere and leave the old life behind, as I'm doing now. It's extremely exciting. I'm over the moon to have this opportunity to move to a totally new place and have new adventures. It goes without saying that my old life of poverty, before I sold my house, is a faint memory and a lot of lessons learned. I couldn't have anything close to the prosperity I have now with something like that weighing me down- and when I mention prosperity I mean both material and non-material.
For all the times that I've found myself stuck in life- due in part to my own and others' good intentions no doubt- there has been the payout that comes with getting unstuck and moving forward.
Many people I've met this year and last year, or whom I've lived with or worked with, have each been both a blessing and a person I may not see much of in the future. I hope this doesn't sound too callous; it's not that I don't care about them. It's just that I'm in a transitional phase and these friendly faces will not follow me to my next destination in life; however, they may make cameo appearances every now and again.
I'm pondering all these concepts, although what I'm really doing is prolonging this period of time before I cook breakfast and organize all of the clothing in my wardrobe. Sigh!
Love, and happy Thanksgiving!
Jane Q. Phoenix
Friday, 29 November 2013
Sunday, 3 November 2013
My friend got lost about a year ago
In all the flurry of getting engaged to Future Husband, sharing a really bad cold, and trying to keep up with all my daily demands- cooking, working, cleaning my clothes so that I have something to wear to work- I forgot to email a good friend of his whom I'm connected to on Face Book to warn her that I was going to drop the "FH and I are engaged!" bomb.
She didn't actually mind. She sent FH a pretty amusing text about it, actually. It started out with, "What the hell?" and ended with "Congratulations!"
I emailed her and apologized. She was cool about it, and didn't say much more about it, but she did ask me, "Have you heard from A?"
A is our friend from high school. I knew A in college and loved her. She was a bit like the cartoon Daria, full of acerbic wit and hilarious stories too. We hung out a few times in college but not much.
A moved up to the Northeast years ago. She's an extremely talented writer with, I think, a masters degree in something along that vein.
This recession has dragged on for years and affected her livelihood at least once (probably more than once). I know she had 90-day notice for losing her job last year, and that's when her blog posts ended. That's when she stopped logging in to Face Book, too. Her 40th birthday came and went without a comment from her, although many of her friends wished her well.
She is missing. In this age where everyone is online, I can understand the lure of avoiding it, but with her admitted problems with depression, it is worrisome. Our friend has noticed, and asked me if I've heard from her, but I haven't. I did exchange emails with her for a while, and send her job search websites that I'd discovered in my recessionary journey that pertain to Florida only, where I've lived. I told her she could use my house and drive to wherever she needed to go to interview, back when I had a house. She never took me up on my offer, which was fine because jobs were hard to come by in Florida and I wouldn't blame her for wanting to live somewhere with seasons and without oppressive heat.
Still, we worry. And we hope that she is fine, wherever she is. If we hear from her, I will let you know.
Love,
Jane
She didn't actually mind. She sent FH a pretty amusing text about it, actually. It started out with, "What the hell?" and ended with "Congratulations!"
I emailed her and apologized. She was cool about it, and didn't say much more about it, but she did ask me, "Have you heard from A?"
A is our friend from high school. I knew A in college and loved her. She was a bit like the cartoon Daria, full of acerbic wit and hilarious stories too. We hung out a few times in college but not much.
A moved up to the Northeast years ago. She's an extremely talented writer with, I think, a masters degree in something along that vein.
This recession has dragged on for years and affected her livelihood at least once (probably more than once). I know she had 90-day notice for losing her job last year, and that's when her blog posts ended. That's when she stopped logging in to Face Book, too. Her 40th birthday came and went without a comment from her, although many of her friends wished her well.
She is missing. In this age where everyone is online, I can understand the lure of avoiding it, but with her admitted problems with depression, it is worrisome. Our friend has noticed, and asked me if I've heard from her, but I haven't. I did exchange emails with her for a while, and send her job search websites that I'd discovered in my recessionary journey that pertain to Florida only, where I've lived. I told her she could use my house and drive to wherever she needed to go to interview, back when I had a house. She never took me up on my offer, which was fine because jobs were hard to come by in Florida and I wouldn't blame her for wanting to live somewhere with seasons and without oppressive heat.
Still, we worry. And we hope that she is fine, wherever she is. If we hear from her, I will let you know.
Love,
Jane
Saturday, 2 November 2013
Those people back in Shakespeare's time were right about bile
I had some blood work done a few months ago, and my doctor's office actually called me afterwards to warn me about my liver functioning. The levels were off. The lady I spoke with on the phone said, "Ms. Phoenix, you really need to stop drinking!" Well, I haven't had a drink in a long time, and maybe two or three all this year. It wasn't alcohol that was the problem. It was headache meds.
My illness left some residual issues- namely, headaches. And while I am deprived of salt, alcohol, and anything with caffeine in it, including chocolate, I told myself that there were 3 things I could have as much as I wanted:
1) online shopping
2) desserts
3) headache meds
Unfortunately, a lot of headache medicines have acetomenaphen, which is the active ingredient in Tylenol. Stuff like Nyquil, Dayquil, Tylenol 3, etc. Little did I know it was shredding my liver, which I need for like 50 more years, so that day when I got the "stop drinking" phone call, I quit all that stuff cold turkey (not so much the desserts, though). I was nauseous for about 3 days straight without all the stuff that kept my system going, but on the other side of that, I could tell things were improving.
Then came the procession of Chinese herbs, supplements from the health food store, and special tea made with nettle and milk thistle leaves. For two months, that's all I've done, in addition to drinking vast quantities of water. When I got some sort of cold virus (from my future husband- apparently we share everything now!) I bought some medicine that is free of the stuff that upset my liver so much.
One hilarious observation I made was that when you take the bad stuff out of the liver (the "bile" according to the Shakespearian set), you really do feel anger. I had a major case of PMS a few weeks ago. My boss did some stuff that was annoying and I just felt myself get furious, then self-conscious and laughing at myself for being so nuts about it.
A woman at work told me that liver toxicity in animals is linked to aggressive behavior. This made me think about some people I know and wonder how they are inside. Maybe if they could go through a liver detox, they would feel more peaceful and less P-O'd all the time.
I don't know where you are at in life, or how you feel physically, but if this issue ever plagues you, trust me, a liver detox is totally worth it! Worth all the crankiness and strange smelling urine. Truly.
I had a follow-up blood test today. Fingers are crossed that I'm back in the normal range after this detox...
Yours,
Jane
My illness left some residual issues- namely, headaches. And while I am deprived of salt, alcohol, and anything with caffeine in it, including chocolate, I told myself that there were 3 things I could have as much as I wanted:
1) online shopping
2) desserts
3) headache meds
Unfortunately, a lot of headache medicines have acetomenaphen, which is the active ingredient in Tylenol. Stuff like Nyquil, Dayquil, Tylenol 3, etc. Little did I know it was shredding my liver, which I need for like 50 more years, so that day when I got the "stop drinking" phone call, I quit all that stuff cold turkey (not so much the desserts, though). I was nauseous for about 3 days straight without all the stuff that kept my system going, but on the other side of that, I could tell things were improving.
Then came the procession of Chinese herbs, supplements from the health food store, and special tea made with nettle and milk thistle leaves. For two months, that's all I've done, in addition to drinking vast quantities of water. When I got some sort of cold virus (from my future husband- apparently we share everything now!) I bought some medicine that is free of the stuff that upset my liver so much.
One hilarious observation I made was that when you take the bad stuff out of the liver (the "bile" according to the Shakespearian set), you really do feel anger. I had a major case of PMS a few weeks ago. My boss did some stuff that was annoying and I just felt myself get furious, then self-conscious and laughing at myself for being so nuts about it.
A woman at work told me that liver toxicity in animals is linked to aggressive behavior. This made me think about some people I know and wonder how they are inside. Maybe if they could go through a liver detox, they would feel more peaceful and less P-O'd all the time.
I don't know where you are at in life, or how you feel physically, but if this issue ever plagues you, trust me, a liver detox is totally worth it! Worth all the crankiness and strange smelling urine. Truly.
I had a follow-up blood test today. Fingers are crossed that I'm back in the normal range after this detox...
Yours,
Jane
Saturday, 12 October 2013
Sad and Happy
I once knew a woman who had a lot of physical maladies and talked a lot about them. She was (is) my age and seemed very afraid of living life. I wonder if her physical problems weren't magnified by the fears she had about being out in the world.
I was friends with her on Facebook for a while. Her statuses consisted of asking for prayers to help other sick people and complaining about her menstrual problems, which seemed to happen all the time. Goodness knows, I am a woman too, and I know sometimes an inordinate amount of things need to revolve around those times when you are in pain, can't concentrate, and wander around like a space cadet.
She was included on a girl's weekend once. She slept about 18 hours a day- at the beach. I eventually sent her home and told her she needed to see a doctor. She left and went to see other friends instead. I think she was avoiding social interaction. It didn't make a lot of sense.
Another friend confronter her (gently) and made an observation that she seemed to be scared of life. This person agreed and said she was afraid. She didn't seem to want to do the work, figure it out, and get on with her life. So, she faded into the background of my life. I couldn't read any more of her posts about menstruation and sickness, so I didn't.
I eventually deleted her off Facebook when she did something to get on my nerves. I figure, if you can't find a way to like someone, you should get out of her life. I hope she didn't take it badly. In the virtual world, where you "see" people you don't actually run into in real life, it's better to enjoy the information you receive.
So you can imagine my surprise when I met her doppelganger a few weeks ago at the place I now work. This woman is perpetually happy and always smiling, and is a dead ringer for the sad one I once knew. I can't help but smile every time I see her, first of all because she's smiling and second of all because she looks like someone I associated with so much sadness and ill health, so to see her happy is almost like coming full circle and seeing someone succeed where she once failed. Sad has changed to happy.
I realize that these are two different people, but as my friend Lily Bailey says, there are no such things as coincidences.
Best wishes for a great weekend,
-Jane
P.S. Months after I deleted the sad one from my Facebook feed, I found out she has a serious medical problem. I wish her well, for sure. More than that, though, I wish her happy.
I was friends with her on Facebook for a while. Her statuses consisted of asking for prayers to help other sick people and complaining about her menstrual problems, which seemed to happen all the time. Goodness knows, I am a woman too, and I know sometimes an inordinate amount of things need to revolve around those times when you are in pain, can't concentrate, and wander around like a space cadet.
She was included on a girl's weekend once. She slept about 18 hours a day- at the beach. I eventually sent her home and told her she needed to see a doctor. She left and went to see other friends instead. I think she was avoiding social interaction. It didn't make a lot of sense.
Another friend confronter her (gently) and made an observation that she seemed to be scared of life. This person agreed and said she was afraid. She didn't seem to want to do the work, figure it out, and get on with her life. So, she faded into the background of my life. I couldn't read any more of her posts about menstruation and sickness, so I didn't.
I eventually deleted her off Facebook when she did something to get on my nerves. I figure, if you can't find a way to like someone, you should get out of her life. I hope she didn't take it badly. In the virtual world, where you "see" people you don't actually run into in real life, it's better to enjoy the information you receive.
So you can imagine my surprise when I met her doppelganger a few weeks ago at the place I now work. This woman is perpetually happy and always smiling, and is a dead ringer for the sad one I once knew. I can't help but smile every time I see her, first of all because she's smiling and second of all because she looks like someone I associated with so much sadness and ill health, so to see her happy is almost like coming full circle and seeing someone succeed where she once failed. Sad has changed to happy.
I realize that these are two different people, but as my friend Lily Bailey says, there are no such things as coincidences.
Best wishes for a great weekend,
-Jane
P.S. Months after I deleted the sad one from my Facebook feed, I found out she has a serious medical problem. I wish her well, for sure. More than that, though, I wish her happy.
Putting it away
Today I took a major step toward acknowledging my healthy future. I put away all of the things that remind me of having been sick. The anti-nausea medicine, the vapo-rub, the microwavable heatable pad, everything except for what I take every day to keep the bad symptoms away.
It felt good! I needed to organize things and this was one thing that I had hanging around. I don't need to look at that stuff anymore, since I hardly need it.
(Ironically, I needed some anti-vertigo meds this morning. But I took them and went back to sleep and all's well.)
I threw out some stuff, too. Old vitamins. Amazing how that stuff gets gross and old. Pills go in the trash, bottles go in the recycling bin.
I wish I could be this organized all the time.
Hope this weekend is great for you,
Jane
It felt good! I needed to organize things and this was one thing that I had hanging around. I don't need to look at that stuff anymore, since I hardly need it.
(Ironically, I needed some anti-vertigo meds this morning. But I took them and went back to sleep and all's well.)
I threw out some stuff, too. Old vitamins. Amazing how that stuff gets gross and old. Pills go in the trash, bottles go in the recycling bin.
I wish I could be this organized all the time.
Hope this weekend is great for you,
Jane
Saturday, 5 October 2013
Be open to change...
http://www.boldconversations.com/musings/just-when-you-thought-you-knew-where-you-were-going/
I came across this today, after I read that I'd received that advice (I write everything down) from someone about a year ago.
It's fitting advice because things in my life have changed, are changing, and will change dramatically. Sometimes it is a bit overwhelming.
Today I was in the mood to organize, so I shredded what ended up being a giant garbage bag full of old statements and records and all that stuff. I don't know what my karma is but I seem to always be awash in a sea of paper. It follows me everywhere. It's probably because I'm a writer.
I was very ill last year. I spent a lot of time watching the world spin around me, literally. There was one clear moment, though, when I pondered giving a budding relationship the chance to bloom. I could literally see the chaos ahead and asked myself, could I handle it? And I had to answer YES. I had to get better and feel more healthy and do everything I could to get back to life as something close to a regular person. Even though I'm middle aged now, I still have half my life left. It was time to start living again.
Right now, the changes I'm contemplating are huge, and the effort I will put into them will be enormous, but I am confident that I can do it. I can start my life over somewhere else, and I can start a real life (not a super-fun vacation-only life) with Future Husband.
Whew! Wish me luck.
-Jane
I came across this today, after I read that I'd received that advice (I write everything down) from someone about a year ago.
It's fitting advice because things in my life have changed, are changing, and will change dramatically. Sometimes it is a bit overwhelming.
Today I was in the mood to organize, so I shredded what ended up being a giant garbage bag full of old statements and records and all that stuff. I don't know what my karma is but I seem to always be awash in a sea of paper. It follows me everywhere. It's probably because I'm a writer.
I was very ill last year. I spent a lot of time watching the world spin around me, literally. There was one clear moment, though, when I pondered giving a budding relationship the chance to bloom. I could literally see the chaos ahead and asked myself, could I handle it? And I had to answer YES. I had to get better and feel more healthy and do everything I could to get back to life as something close to a regular person. Even though I'm middle aged now, I still have half my life left. It was time to start living again.
Right now, the changes I'm contemplating are huge, and the effort I will put into them will be enormous, but I am confident that I can do it. I can start my life over somewhere else, and I can start a real life (not a super-fun vacation-only life) with Future Husband.
Whew! Wish me luck.
-Jane
WWJD? I mean, really.
http://www.cathycashspellman.com/jesus-catholic-church/#more-7249
I came across this blog a while ago and it really spoke to me.
Strange that this current pope seems a lot hipper than his predecessors. Maybe things will change with Catholics and people formerly known as Catholics. There's certainly room for improvement.
On the subject of prayer, I will be sending out the best of vibes to everyone who works for the US government. It seems that the ones who are shutting stuff down are still on the payroll, no? That doesn't seem fair. In any case, calling people names and arguing about it isn't helping. Maybe sending good vibes to them will. Something has to give.
What I'd really like is for Bill Clinton to call up the president and explain the art of negotiation. It's the least he can do after letting the Glass-Steagall Act be reversed during his presidency.
You are all in my thoughts. I'm having a day at home, organizing, cleaning, and running errands, which in lay terms means that I have PMS. The good news is that 1) I'm tired after a busy day and 2) the house smells like a tropical paradise. The bad news is, there still aren't enough hours in a day to get everything done!
Yours truly,
Jane
I came across this blog a while ago and it really spoke to me.
Strange that this current pope seems a lot hipper than his predecessors. Maybe things will change with Catholics and people formerly known as Catholics. There's certainly room for improvement.
On the subject of prayer, I will be sending out the best of vibes to everyone who works for the US government. It seems that the ones who are shutting stuff down are still on the payroll, no? That doesn't seem fair. In any case, calling people names and arguing about it isn't helping. Maybe sending good vibes to them will. Something has to give.
What I'd really like is for Bill Clinton to call up the president and explain the art of negotiation. It's the least he can do after letting the Glass-Steagall Act be reversed during his presidency.
You are all in my thoughts. I'm having a day at home, organizing, cleaning, and running errands, which in lay terms means that I have PMS. The good news is that 1) I'm tired after a busy day and 2) the house smells like a tropical paradise. The bad news is, there still aren't enough hours in a day to get everything done!
Yours truly,
Jane
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