I did a dangerous thing and read an advice column. This woman was freaked out because she kept dreaming about her first love, whom she still sees occasionally since they live in the same town. The advice to the woman was, perhaps you are more smitten with who you were when you were with him, rather than him in particular. I think the advice was right on.
Not to be outdone by the lady who wrote to the columnist, I went to bed and had a dream that 3 of my exes had morphed. (All had names beginning with S, if you want to guess who they were). One was tall, blond and skinny with a soul patch on his face; another was more muscular and shaved his head; and finally one was a redhead with long hair, of average height. The product of these 3 guys (and I wish I could draw, but bear with me) was pretty much the Olympic Flying Tomato himself, Shawn White. Pretty funny. Of course, that guy is so young that he'd be a ridiculous pick for me anyway, coolness notwithstanding.
OK, so then (in real life, on IMDB.com today) I moved on to my former future husband River and found some good quotes from him:
"We are taught to consume. And that's what we do. But if we realized that there really is no reason to consume, that it's just a mind set, that it's just an addiction, then we wouldn't be out there stepping on people's hands climbing the corporate ladder of success."
"I can't on my own change the regime in South Africa or teach the Palestinians to learn to live with the Israelites, but I can start with me."
And it is sad, because he is gone, and he seemed like a really cool guy. But I notice something about death: People (who don't die) move on from it when someone they love dies. It's like the world readjusts and changes. Like the River in Siddhartha. It's always changing, never the same, and no one can claim one moment or make it last. That's what is so great about life. I mean, who knew yesterday that Jane Q. Phoenix's true dream guy was more or less a flying tomato? There are wonders to be found at every turn. I'm telling you.
I had multiple social invitations tonight but am staying in to master a computer program and hopefully gain a freelance job next week. (The job requires that I know how to use the program, hence the sequestration of myself). It is a drag to miss out on people I love to spend time with, but hopefully I'll get to see them when I don't have a deadline or opportunity looming.
Life is good!
Yours as always,
Jane Q. Phoenix