Sunday, 21 November 2010

Accept it and move on...

Hi amigas and amigos, it's Jane here. This weekend I was with Diva and another friend (let's call her Felicity unless she asks me to change it to something else- sorry, darling, I forgot to ask you if there's a name you'd prefer) and among the many topics we discussed, from beach haunts to work to fortune readings, etc., I noticed that I've reached a point where I don't want to hear trash talk about my exes. Yes, me. I've come a long way, baby. I just told them, Let's not discuss Timothy the Elder. It's just not something that should be rehashed...

Diva is not pleased with Timothy the Elder. That is for sure and for certain. Yes, he was extraordinarily lazy. Yes, I did wonder if any guy would be capable of picking up the phone and calling a woman after about 4 months with him... but honestly, there were some good points, too. There was the companionship, the conversations, the hikes in the woods, the dinners we'd make (or that he'd make- I'll forgive laziness to an extent as long as the laziness does not interfere with a man's ability to cook for me).

My point is, it wasn't wasted time. I learned something from it and moved on from it, and am thankful for the lessons I learned. I don't know that I could have learned them much quicker, as I have this tendency to give people the benefit of the doubt (and to make excuses for them, which is a habit I am aware of and need to quit). AND I know that a great show of loyalty (and who could be more loyal than La Diva?) is to denounce people like Timothy the Elder, who come into my life and do not have staying power. What I feel about the situation, though, is that the best thing to do is to accept it and move on.

However, Diva, your well-aimed barbs are very amusing... and we love the drama you bring to a situation! You have given me endless suggestions of amusing things to say to the guy should he ever call (which, as time goes by, seems less and less likely).

Sometimes you can be in a situation that puts you into a time and place where a new linkage to a new opportunity comes along, and while the new situation doesn't completely make up for the former one, it still gets you there. The first situation may not be ideal, but it's where you needed to be to get to the next stop on the journey. When you look back on your life, sometimes the things that seemed terrible turn out to be blessings that led you to something far better than what you were aiming for to begin with. You just never know.

Have a great week, everyone!

Friday, 19 November 2010

Yes, it is my goal to love every being on this planet. However, that does not mean I want a front-row seat for a train wreck

Every so often, someone enters my life who seems down on their luck, and being a compassionate amiga, I'll take them out, show them around, make them laugh, and do my part to lift their spirits. I feel like it's good karma, and sometimes our relationship will grow into a friendship, sometimes we'll remain affectionate acquaintances... and sometimes I'll feel like I've gained an extra appendage, because now this person desires constant attention from me, and since I don't have infinite patience, will resort to misbehaving just to get some reaction out of me (lest they lose their audience! Perish the thought!)

Take where I live. Please take it! Ha ha. I mean, I live in a state where once you hit about 25 years old, you don't have a lot of dating options. The pickings are pretty slim, if you know what I mean. I've met a lot of women who have just given up on the whole thing, but I can say, after having researched this situation for the past few years... well, it's not life in the college dorms, but it's not the worst. Why, in barren area alone, I have dated a scuba instructor, science nerd, botanist, and guy who defies description within the past two years. I refuse to be all doom and gloom about it. I'm going to go out and have fun and enjoy my life and meet guys along the way like I always have. Every day is a winding road.

However, I used to know (used to know being the operative phrase) some women who harp on the statistics and say that they are doomed, and that they will never meet anyone to date here... and they complain, and they hang around with other women, and they make no effort at all, and they get pissed off at me for going on dates (because I make an effort) and.... well, those people aren't my friends anymore. If you can't be happy for someone for having a date once in a while, then you're not her friend.

It goes well beyond dating and relating to the same sex- it's how we relate to everything. Truly, it's the space in which you can tell if a person is happy for you when you do well and wants to bring up up when you're down (as opposed to loving it when you are down, because that person is down too and now he/she will have company).

I have met several people in the last few years or so who I would consider to be sad sacks. Yes, that isn't the most flattering phrase, but these people have earned it. Rather than being independent and taking care of their own business and loving themselves and doing right by themselves and others to the best of their abilities, they like to lean on others, make excuses for themselves, blame their problems on other people, blow up my cell phones with reports of their drama, whine helplessly, bitch purposefully and generally act as a bring-down to any social occasion.

Well, this is why I wears boots- because sometimes you need to walk away, and sometimes you need to give someone the boot.

Yes, we are all here to figure out how to get along, to love and be loved, to enjoy life and work hard. Absolutely, these are the things that life is all about, and it's important to be tolerant- but there is a line to draw when it comes to people like I've described. It is one thing to be down on your luck, but quite another to be a sad sack.

The rewards of repelling such individuals are endless. You'll get phone calls you actually want to answer, have brilliant conversations that involve more than one person talking, and will enjoy a general feeling of ease. Sometimes this is hard to come by, but the wait is worth it.

Fool Moon Dreaming

It's almost fool moon (ok, that should read full moon, but fool moon works just as well...) and as has been happening to me quite frequently in the past few months, some rather interesting dreams visit me as the moon waxes to foolness. Usually, these dreams have some relevance to things happening in my daily life (the people, places etc) even as they take on a surreal aspect.

Last night? A little bit different. I found myself somewhere unfamiliar, in a throng of people. It was a bit overwhelming to be in the middle of all these people, this crowd, but it was different. Nobody was pushing or shoving, the sun was nice and bright and the general mood was one of anticipation. I was inside this area with marble floors and colonnades and there was a balustrade, overlooking a courtyard (although it was on the same level instead of higher up or second floor) and even out there, tons of people were waiting. It might have been the Vatican, and then again, it wasn't. And then? Then the pope arrived. Yes, the pope. Except in my dream it was Pope John Paul II, not the current Pope Benedict.

(Tangent)Now, I cannot quite grasp why on earth I'd be dreaming of the pope, even though I was raised as a Catholic, my family was never one to attend church on a regular basis (or even irregular at that...) We just didn't go. I tried it a few times and I will admit to having some positive experiences, when the meditative aspect of ritual was stronger than the more common aspect of dogma and bullshit. However, the negative experiences outweighed the positive and I stopped going. And it's been years. And I haven't missed it a bit. Not even a teensy weenie bit. I'll leave it at that. So, for Pope John Paul II to pop up in my dreams is rather bizarre. (End Tangent.)

So, el Papa himself walked right by me, paused, and looked right at me as he walked to the balustrade...and yet, it wasn't about him. Because for some reason, we were all in this together and then everyone started singing "One Day" by Matisyahu. And we were all singing this amazing song. And that was it. That was my dream. And I woke up. As is usual in these fool moon dreams, I woke feeling completely perplexed, as in WTF perplexed. I phoned my dear Jane who had an interesting spin on this dream, that everyone was there together, in peace and what a fabulous dream. Ok. I can see that, although I'm not sure what meaning it might have in my life right now (and being the Diva, it is all about me, of course!)

If you've never heard the song before, here it is for you...

PS from Jane: Diva mentioned that there were Jewish people in the dream, and for them to be united with Christians in a meaningful way is a good thing. This sounds like a beautiful dream; I wish I could have seen it. There's something mystical about dreams like this. It can seem like you're with all your best friends, and they all seem familiar, even though maybe you've never met them in your waking life. Singing is a symbol of happiness, much like flying.

I, on the other hand, may be preparing for a death in my family. Sometimes people who are in between life and death appear in my dreams. (Years ago, my uncle would appear in my dreams when he was hospitalized. I woke up from one dream knowing that he would be gone soon, and he was). Now, it is my grandfather. He'll just appear, and I'll put my arm around him like I always do and we'll talk about whatever- just like in real life. I am comforted that I will see him in my dreams after he's gone, but it will be a tough transition nevertheless. Still, if this is a warning, I should be grateful for it and prepare myself as well as I can.

Tuesday, 16 November 2010

Fun with the I Ching

As many of you know, Diva and I have been known to consult the tarot (she's even studied it!), go to psychics, and have a lot of interest in things that are narrowly defined as occult. Our auras have been photographed numerous times, and we are both students of the chakras. Again, Diva started researching and collecting this information before I did, but by now we are more or less on the same page (though I am struggling to catch up to the volume of reading she's done on the topic!).

Between us, we have various decks of divination cards and other types of divination, from the Housewives' Tarot (which you really have to see to believe) to runes. I picked up an I Ching deck a few years ago and bring it out every now and again for guidance... but this time, it offered more comic relief than anything else.

First, I asked about the Jane and Diva Project. Like I said before, I keep getting ideas that I want to act on as far as writing about our experiences and insights and search for inner peace. The card I pulled is #34, The Power of the Great. It reads, "As long as you are acting in your best interests, nothing can go wrong. You will achieve great good fortune just so long as you are clear, wise, and determined. Great power comes to those who don't rely on luck but their own hard work and dedication to a goal or dream. You must have such a dream if you are to succeed. Heaven blesses those who strive hard, are sincere and honest, and work toward a common good for all. This is great power indeed."

I always liked the number 34, and it's funny that I still do, because when I was 34, my whole life as it was ended, and I was set adrift to rebuild everything. It wasn't so pretty at the time, but I'm glad I ended up where I'm at, despite the difficult times and angst it took to get here. I had to reinvent everything. Things got so bad that I was able to connect with my spirit guide and learn the basics of life that I'd never been taught. Life had been easy for me up to that point, although I didn't know it then. I understand the basics now. I get it. Thank goodness.

Back to the I Ching. The next card I pulled was to ask about Tim, a guy I dated for about 6 months who dropped off the radar a few weeks ago. He was polite but firm in his exit from my life, although he did make a few half-assed efforts to see me in the month of October. I pulled #21, Biting Through. Listen to this gem of wisdom: "As with gangrene, you must sever the limb to save the body. You must be ruthless in order to stop the infection." Lucky for me, the most ruthless I had to be was to meet with him and say, "I'll wait to hear from you." It's been crickets from him since then, but it's OK. Thanks, I Ching, for the laugh.

Your Jane

PS to Amigo: I pulled a card for you. It is #25, Correctness. It reads, "Be spontaneous. Work forward with no preconceived attitudes. Adopt the wisdom of a small child and you will win through."

Diva here...
Oh, goodness!! And to think that my lifepath number in numerology is 34!!! The Power of Great? Well, no wonder. Now to work on the clear wise and determined part, but a girl can get easily distracted at times, especially when men and rum are involved in that mix! As for Jane's little affair with Mr. Timothy the Elder (I've just named him this as he accused Jane's friends of acting old when he, in fact, is that one that spends entire weekends doing nothing other than doddering in the garden and taking the dog for a walk), chop away, my dear Jane, chop away! Some people, as pleasant as they might be, are better off left to their own.

P.S. To future readers of my book: The guy I mentioned in this post is named neither Tim nor Luke, but I thought about naming him Luke in the book so I could give him the very meaningful nickname, Lukewarm. Hahahahahah. -Jane

Monday, 15 November 2010

Giving ourselves permission

In making this blog, choosing pen names, and waxing philosophical about our beliefs, feelings and experiences, I believe that Diva and I are giving ourselves permission to grow beyond the basic roles we play and the faces we show to others. I know I feel more comfortable with a persona that no family member or coworker can judge. It's just easier this way. It's just easier to embrace the part of me that loves rum and men, in that order, when it's my amigas and amigos who are entertained by declarations like this.

As the more prolific writer of the two, I have so many ideas I want to explore, but haven't had enough of an audience to stay motivated. Although Diva's name is Diva, I'm the one who grew up on the stage and loves the applause. You couldn't get me to go to a dance class week after week and come away with the knowledge and skill of a style of dance, but I'll go to rehearsals 3 times a week, give up all of my free time, and have no days off for 2 months just for the chance to run around a stage and take a bow at the end of the performance. I have to admit this- and I love to see my (Jane's) name in print too. I love the response, the interaction, the sharing of ideas. This is the reason Your Jane writes anything at all.

So it is with this update that we reveal the blog we started a few years ago, with a question: is there an audience for what we write? I mean, we think we're amusing as hell, but is this opinion shared by others?

Case in point:
Once upon a time, Jane was moving into Diva's apartment and came across a can opener that was identical to her own. She held it up and asked, "Is this yours, or have I unpacked mine already?"
"That one is mine," answered the Diva.
"I have one just like it," Jane said.... (and do you know what's coming next?) "The resemblance is just uncanny."

We'd like to use this kind of comedic timing and hilarity in a future project as well as this blog. I just have to build the momentum and get the creative juices flowing. Diva will come in to add the witty commentary after I dress up the bones of the stories. Given my schedule, this could take a while. However, since I have recently purchased a beautiful shimmering laptop (which I have named Elvis, as it is shiny and does amazing tricks), perhaps the words will flow easier as the days go by. There is no telling.

So please tune in to our blog, let us know what you think, and give us feedback if you want.

Adios, amigos.

Your Jane