Saturday, 12 October 2013

Sad and Happy

I once knew a woman who had a lot of physical maladies and talked a lot about them. She was (is) my age and seemed very afraid of living life. I wonder if her physical problems weren't magnified by the fears she had about being out in the world.

I was friends with her on Facebook for a while.  Her statuses consisted of asking for prayers to help other sick people and complaining about her menstrual problems, which seemed to happen all the time. Goodness knows, I am a woman too, and I know sometimes an inordinate amount of things need to revolve around those times when you are in pain, can't concentrate, and wander around like a space cadet.

She was included on a girl's weekend once. She slept about 18 hours a day- at the beach. I eventually sent her home and told her she needed to see a doctor. She left and went to see other friends instead. I think she was avoiding social interaction.  It didn't make a lot of sense.

Another friend confronter her (gently) and made an observation that she seemed to be scared of life. This person agreed and said she was afraid.  She didn't seem to want to do the work, figure it out, and get on with her life. So, she faded into the background of my life. I couldn't read any more of her posts about menstruation and sickness, so I didn't.

I eventually deleted her off Facebook when she did something to get on my nerves. I figure, if you can't     find a way to like someone, you should get out of her life. I hope she didn't take it badly. In the virtual world, where you "see" people you don't actually run into in real life, it's better to enjoy the information you receive.

So you can imagine my surprise when I met her doppelganger a few weeks ago at the place I now work.  This woman is perpetually happy and always smiling, and is a dead ringer for the sad one I once knew. I can't help but smile every time I see her, first of all because she's smiling and second of all because she looks like someone I associated with so much sadness and ill health, so to see her happy is almost like coming full circle and seeing someone succeed where she once failed.  Sad has changed to happy.

I realize that these are two different people, but as my friend Lily Bailey says, there are no such things as coincidences.

Best wishes for a great weekend,

P.S. Months after I deleted the sad one from my Facebook feed, I found out she has a serious medical problem. I wish her well, for sure. More than that, though, I wish her happy.

Putting it away

Today I took a major step toward acknowledging my healthy future.  I put away all of the things that remind me of having been sick.  The anti-nausea medicine, the vapo-rub, the microwavable heatable pad, everything except for what I take every day to keep the bad symptoms away.

It felt good! I needed to organize things and this was one thing that I had hanging around. I don't need to look at that stuff anymore, since I hardly need it.

(Ironically, I needed some anti-vertigo meds this morning. But I took them and went back to sleep and all's well.)

I threw out some stuff, too.  Old vitamins. Amazing how that stuff gets gross and old. Pills go in the trash, bottles go in the recycling bin.

I wish I could be this organized all the time.

Hope this weekend is great for you,


Saturday, 5 October 2013

Be open to change...

I came across this today, after I read that I'd received that advice (I write everything down) from someone about a year ago.

It's fitting advice because things in my life have changed, are changing, and will change dramatically. Sometimes it is a bit overwhelming.

Today I was in the mood to organize, so I shredded what ended up being a giant garbage bag full of old statements and records and all that stuff. I don't know what my karma is but I seem to always be awash in a sea of paper. It follows me everywhere. It's probably because I'm a writer.

I was very ill last year. I spent a lot of time watching the world spin around me, literally.  There was one clear moment, though, when I pondered giving a budding relationship the chance to bloom. I could literally see the chaos ahead and asked myself, could I handle it? And I had to answer YES. I had to get better and feel more healthy and do everything I could to get back to life as something close to a regular person.  Even though I'm middle aged now, I still have half my life left.  It was time to start living again.

Right now, the changes I'm contemplating are huge, and the effort I will put into them will be enormous, but I am confident that I can do it. I can start my life over somewhere else, and I can start a real life (not a super-fun vacation-only life) with Future Husband.

Whew! Wish me luck.


WWJD? I mean, really.

I came across this blog a while ago and it really spoke to me.

Strange that this current pope seems a lot hipper than his predecessors.  Maybe things will change with Catholics and people formerly known as Catholics. There's certainly room for improvement.

On the subject of prayer, I will be sending out the best of vibes to everyone who works for the US government. It seems that the ones who are shutting stuff down are still on the payroll, no? That doesn't seem fair. In any case, calling people names and arguing about it isn't helping.  Maybe sending good vibes to them will. Something has to give.

What I'd really like is for Bill Clinton to call up the president and explain the art of negotiation. It's the least he can do after letting the Glass-Steagall Act be reversed during his presidency.

You are all in my thoughts. I'm having a day at home, organizing, cleaning, and running errands, which in lay terms means that I have PMS.  The good news is that 1) I'm tired after a busy day and 2) the house smells like a tropical paradise. The bad news is, there still aren't enough hours in a day to get everything done!

Yours truly,