Once again, I have decided that I need to drastically cut the junk from my life. This isn't easy to do as I seem to be a natural collector of things. Last year, upon Jane's recommendation, I bought "Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui." It really inspired me to go through my things after I came back from a two month stint away-I remember returning--walking back into my apartment, looking around and thinking, "Oh my god! Why do I have so much crap?"
I spent the next two months going through things a bit at a time; I think I got rid of at least 5 bags of things, including clothes, shoes (my beloved shoes), and just stuff! Then, I hit a wall. It was time to go deeper and I don't think I was quite ready for that. I wasn't ready to start delving into valid items and deciding which to eliminate. So I stopped. And started buying other stuff. Now, I am back to looking at a cluttered apartment yet again, thinking how nice it would be to live simply-having less "filler" for those empty spaces. I think that might be one of my issues, trying to fill in empty spaces. I'd like to feel more comfortable with the emptiness-become less attached to my things. After all, they are merely things, meant to make my life more comfortable, right? And if they are not enriching my life in some way, I need to let them pass on to someone else.
I can sort of see where this tendency of mine started-I can remember at least two distinct times I lost or gave away something I "loved" and then either being heartbroken for the loss or regretting getting rid of it. I also remember not getting things or seeing others get what I want with no chance of it for me. I certainly don't ever remember making a conscious decision saying, "When I get older, I'm going to start getting things and keeping them," but I do think somewhere deep inside that thought formed because it seems that's what I have been doing most of my adult life. Now, now it's time to release things. I might have to reread that book again for inspiration and then again and again until it's instilled.