Here comes the real apology, Winterville. Seriously. The levee has broken sometime in the past 2 weeks. People here, some of whom I don't know very well, might help me find a roommate. I managed to get myself out on a pub crawl last night and ended up 1) having a great time, 2) dancing with cute guys, 3) staying out until after 2 in the morning (unprecedented), and 4) meeting really nice people. And to think that all it took was 2 years of patience, slow networking through my writer friend and a little bit of magic to make it all happen.
I've made an effort lately to be more positive and think more positive and say things that are more positive- and let me tell you, Winterville, these things are an effort. You know my car- it's my dream car, and I love it, but a troupe of tapdancing cats back home scratched up the hood on it so badly that the paint looks terrible. For a long time I've lamented that it's not the same car I drove off the lot nearly 5 years ago- but the other day I thought to myself, "Let's list what's right with this car instead," and came up with a huge list. Let's face it, Winterville, I drive my dream car- no matter what Time does with it.
Can this grand Winterville experiment go well for us? Can it lead me to be a more creative and productive writer, and a happier person? Can it make me a more confident adult who can solve my own problems? I've not been comfortable putting all of the blame on you, but for the first few years here, I couldn't find much to work with. This is the first time I've met creative types who work on a regular basis- the initial group I met here was mostly dudes who either stayed at home with kids or just didn't work. When it was just me who worked and had responsibilities and higher expenses, I truly did feel alone. Even my neighbor friends share their mortgages with someone, while I haven't.
Gotta go, Winterville. I will be seeing my original Winterville friend today who's made me feel normal in the midst of this crazy transition. She's always helped me feel OK with where I'm at even though several other signs would point in an opposite direction.
I am grateful, Winterville. I am grateful that I don't have to ditch you just to have a good conversation with someone, or even dance and drink. Although part of me has to say, it's about time.