Saturday, 5 October 2013

Be open to change...

I came across this today, after I read that I'd received that advice (I write everything down) from someone about a year ago.

It's fitting advice because things in my life have changed, are changing, and will change dramatically. Sometimes it is a bit overwhelming.

Today I was in the mood to organize, so I shredded what ended up being a giant garbage bag full of old statements and records and all that stuff. I don't know what my karma is but I seem to always be awash in a sea of paper. It follows me everywhere. It's probably because I'm a writer.

I was very ill last year. I spent a lot of time watching the world spin around me, literally.  There was one clear moment, though, when I pondered giving a budding relationship the chance to bloom. I could literally see the chaos ahead and asked myself, could I handle it? And I had to answer YES. I had to get better and feel more healthy and do everything I could to get back to life as something close to a regular person.  Even though I'm middle aged now, I still have half my life left.  It was time to start living again.

Right now, the changes I'm contemplating are huge, and the effort I will put into them will be enormous, but I am confident that I can do it. I can start my life over somewhere else, and I can start a real life (not a super-fun vacation-only life) with Future Husband.

Whew! Wish me luck.


No comments: