Good day, amigas and amigos:
Your Jane has just become aware of a pretty substantial problem, while Diva has discovered some of her own emotional stuff.
My problem pertains to my health. I thought my body and I had a deal: I take care of you, you take care of me. Well, I've been thrown a curve ball. For whatever reason, all the healthy eating and exercise I've done couldn't head off the problem that is taking over my life now. There should be an end in sight, but no one, not even my doctor, can estimate when that will be, and even then, this could recur for the rest of my life. Sooooo, I'm a little bit thrown for a loop.
Our Diva is doing some soul searching and came up with the reason behind one of the blocks in her life. I've discussed this with other friends too. I think there are blocks in our bodies and our minds that prevent us from achieving what we could achieve. Sometimes a belief system takes years to form and it can't be torn down in a day, even if we know it's wrong. It's like it's taken hold of us and doesn't want to get flushed out.
An interesting parallel to my problem, because the sooner my problem runs through and gets flushed out of me, the sooner I'll be functional as far as my body is concerned. It's the same thing for Diva, but since her block doesn't keep her from sustaining her physical life (she has adequate food, water, and shelter) she could put off the exploration. I will be there for her whatever she decides. A friend is not a coach. A friend just knows that you are doing the best that you can do, and wishes you well, and encourages you.
Still, I am curious about the outcomes for both of us. We are both looking at a situation now and assessing what it is, how it works, and what impact it has on our lives
Good luck to us, huh?
-Jane
Saturday, 18 February 2012
Monday, 13 February 2012
Why can't we be friends????
So I'm talking to my ex-boyfriend. Just talking.
It's interesting because it's easier (for me) to talk to someone I am not dating. All those awkward things you don't want to talk about as someone's girlfriend just don't matter so much when it isn't your boyfriend you're talking to. It's very liberating in a way.
Friends are great because they can make decisions you'd never agree with but, as their friend, you can support them anyway. Decisions that impact their physical health, finances, education, etc. don't really need your buy-in because you're not looking at them as someone you'd need to keep healthy, to possibly raise a family with, combine credit with, etc.
Maybe the bottom line here is that the more serious I take anything, the less fun it becomes.
I keep having to realize this. Hmmmm...
Have a relaxed and stress-free day.
Yours,
Jane Q Phoenix
It's interesting because it's easier (for me) to talk to someone I am not dating. All those awkward things you don't want to talk about as someone's girlfriend just don't matter so much when it isn't your boyfriend you're talking to. It's very liberating in a way.
Friends are great because they can make decisions you'd never agree with but, as their friend, you can support them anyway. Decisions that impact their physical health, finances, education, etc. don't really need your buy-in because you're not looking at them as someone you'd need to keep healthy, to possibly raise a family with, combine credit with, etc.
Maybe the bottom line here is that the more serious I take anything, the less fun it becomes.
I keep having to realize this. Hmmmm...
Have a relaxed and stress-free day.
Yours,
Jane Q Phoenix
Wednesday, 11 January 2012
Love is what made the difference
Since I arrived in the burg of Winterville, I've been missing something pretty major: love. Everywhere I went, I dealt with scathing people and horrible attitudes. People were poor, crazy, miserable, projecting their own issues onto me, ripping me off, trying to rip me off, pissing me off, ignoring me, and generally being pains in my ass.
My ex is out of my life now, but he did something that nobody else could: he came into my life in this depressing town and loved me. Sure, it didn't last, and of course it wasn't perfect, but he did that: he loved me. And I must say that it's made me a LOT less edgy.
I find myself at peace now. I am able to accept Winterville's many constraints better and with more grace. I am better at planning my social calendar so that I'm in no way dependent on someone in this scary town holding up one end of an intelligent conversation; I do my socializing during the week now, near work, or in some other town at some other time. Home time is for writing, laundry, sleeping, and going through the mail. I can do that anywhere, even Winterville.
I am excited to announce that I am writing a mini-epic in 6 parts. Diva is providing witty commentary and they will be e-books available at some point this year. I've decided that this is my second job; I will devote time to it on the weekends and get it done in the silence of my current life in Winterville. We just have to make it happen. Diva and I have such great stories to tell and this is the year it will be done.
Of course, I won't be stuck here forever, but while I'm here I'm making the most of it.
Yours,
Jane Q. Phoenix
PS Here is a cool poem for you to enjoy:
People are unreasonable, illogical and self-centered.
Love them anyway.
If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.
If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.
The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.
Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.
The biggest person with the biggest ideas can be
shot down by the smallest person with the smallest mind.
Think big anyway.
What you spend years building may
be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.
People really need help but may attack if you help them.
Help people anyway.
Give the world the best you have
and you might get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you've got anyway.
- Anonymous
My ex is out of my life now, but he did something that nobody else could: he came into my life in this depressing town and loved me. Sure, it didn't last, and of course it wasn't perfect, but he did that: he loved me. And I must say that it's made me a LOT less edgy.
I find myself at peace now. I am able to accept Winterville's many constraints better and with more grace. I am better at planning my social calendar so that I'm in no way dependent on someone in this scary town holding up one end of an intelligent conversation; I do my socializing during the week now, near work, or in some other town at some other time. Home time is for writing, laundry, sleeping, and going through the mail. I can do that anywhere, even Winterville.
I am excited to announce that I am writing a mini-epic in 6 parts. Diva is providing witty commentary and they will be e-books available at some point this year. I've decided that this is my second job; I will devote time to it on the weekends and get it done in the silence of my current life in Winterville. We just have to make it happen. Diva and I have such great stories to tell and this is the year it will be done.
Of course, I won't be stuck here forever, but while I'm here I'm making the most of it.
Yours,
Jane Q. Phoenix
PS Here is a cool poem for you to enjoy:
People are unreasonable, illogical and self-centered.
Love them anyway.
If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.
If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.
The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.
Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.
The biggest person with the biggest ideas can be
shot down by the smallest person with the smallest mind.
Think big anyway.
What you spend years building may
be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.
People really need help but may attack if you help them.
Help people anyway.
Give the world the best you have
and you might get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you've got anyway.
- Anonymous
Saturday, 31 December 2011
Crazy is as crazy does
People, what is normal, and what is crazy?
I had dinner with a fabulous friend the other night. She told me about a guy she dated and how she wanted to diagnose his craziness with that psychology book that lists all neuroses. I told her to save herself the trouble; he's a man, and she's a woman, and would they ever understand each other anyway?
Does the fact that you can not understand someone's behavior and motivations make that person crazy? Or does it make you crazy or stupid, due to your inability to understand the other person's behavior?
I've known a few people with bipolar disorder. They do the most brilliant work when the lid comes off and they have the energy to do it, but they can't keep up that frenetic pace for too long. Who on earth could?
The thing is, things that don't fit into the norms of society are labeled as such... but who decided the norms of society?
Do you think I like working a day job, 40+ hours a week? Do you think that's what I would have picked if I'd had a choice of, say, 35 or 30 hours instead? Some days I am out of the house and in the world for an 11-hour stretch at least, battling traffic, putting miles on my car, feeling the tension seep into my body, running from meeting to meeting, wondering what is the hottest fire on my desk that I need to put out first. Yes, I feel accomplished. Yes, I am proud of my work. But do I need to do it so very much? Yes, according to society's standards. So does that make me CRAZY for wishing I could work less?
It still baffles me how people work full time and raise kids. Seriously. I don't know how they do it. It's hard to find time to spend with my pets some days. Embarrassing to admit, but true.
But I digress. What is normal? Diva laughs at me sometimes. She tells me I can't outline and explain everything logically because some things can't be discussed that way. Some things defy logic; people defy logic- some more than others.
Any diagnosis in the world is just a label; the person remains the person. Amigas, I have loved some pretty crazy people in my life. I think my life path that led me to Winterville made damn sure I'd be exposed to a whole spectrum of crazy that I never saw before. I've seen it so much up here. It used to make me angry; I'd think that the person should just take meds and assimilate, show up for work on time and get over himself or herself already. And, in the workplace, when you are part of a team, yes, I think that is true; otherwise, you're letting people down. But in life? Messy, mushy, free-form life? How crazy can we take it?
Your friend in the new year and always,
Jane Q. Phoenix
I had dinner with a fabulous friend the other night. She told me about a guy she dated and how she wanted to diagnose his craziness with that psychology book that lists all neuroses. I told her to save herself the trouble; he's a man, and she's a woman, and would they ever understand each other anyway?
Does the fact that you can not understand someone's behavior and motivations make that person crazy? Or does it make you crazy or stupid, due to your inability to understand the other person's behavior?
I've known a few people with bipolar disorder. They do the most brilliant work when the lid comes off and they have the energy to do it, but they can't keep up that frenetic pace for too long. Who on earth could?
The thing is, things that don't fit into the norms of society are labeled as such... but who decided the norms of society?
Do you think I like working a day job, 40+ hours a week? Do you think that's what I would have picked if I'd had a choice of, say, 35 or 30 hours instead? Some days I am out of the house and in the world for an 11-hour stretch at least, battling traffic, putting miles on my car, feeling the tension seep into my body, running from meeting to meeting, wondering what is the hottest fire on my desk that I need to put out first. Yes, I feel accomplished. Yes, I am proud of my work. But do I need to do it so very much? Yes, according to society's standards. So does that make me CRAZY for wishing I could work less?
It still baffles me how people work full time and raise kids. Seriously. I don't know how they do it. It's hard to find time to spend with my pets some days. Embarrassing to admit, but true.
But I digress. What is normal? Diva laughs at me sometimes. She tells me I can't outline and explain everything logically because some things can't be discussed that way. Some things defy logic; people defy logic- some more than others.
Any diagnosis in the world is just a label; the person remains the person. Amigas, I have loved some pretty crazy people in my life. I think my life path that led me to Winterville made damn sure I'd be exposed to a whole spectrum of crazy that I never saw before. I've seen it so much up here. It used to make me angry; I'd think that the person should just take meds and assimilate, show up for work on time and get over himself or herself already. And, in the workplace, when you are part of a team, yes, I think that is true; otherwise, you're letting people down. But in life? Messy, mushy, free-form life? How crazy can we take it?
Your friend in the new year and always,
Jane Q. Phoenix
Monday, 19 December 2011
Design your own reality
Dan Pearce's blog entry about "I'm Christian unless you're gay" still has me thinking. I talked it over with some friends; it's been a good thing to trade thoughts about. One, a blunt Sagittarius who is known for her razor-sharp smarts, said to me that she thinks it's just that people get to subscribe to whatever reality they choose. We (Americans) don't have 4 TV channels anymore. The information we absorb is obtained through "channels" that we are comfortable with, such as Internet, satellite radio, cable TV, and so on.
For example, I was going through the channels on the TV today (I have 12) and there was the religious channel with an angry man talking about the One True Way. He said that the people who call themselves Christians but say that there are many paths to the same realization are just plain Wrong. His way is the Only Way. Everyone Else is a Damn Fool. Well, he didn't use those words, but you can get my drift. It all comes down to: You either believe what I'm saying, which is correct, or you're stupid and wrong. (I didn't watch that guy for too long.)
The only people who watch that show agree with that man, just like the only people who watch news programs that lean left or right are the people who want that spin to the information they ingest. That's just the way it is. If you don't want to see much about celebrities, go with the PBS station; otherwise, you'll be hearing about Michael Jackson and the Kardashians for the rest of your natural life.
I think it comes down to designing your own reality. If you really concentrate on something, it increases in importance in your life and has more meaning.
People also have to decide for themselves what level of negative news that they can handle. Personally, I did not watch any of the Casey Anthony coverage. It has a lot to do with a demanding work schedule and a life that doesn't involve much TV, but there's also the element of: do I really want this information to take up space in my brain? Ask yourself that question about the things you come across. Is this really what I want to become a part of me? I didn't want the idiocy of Casey Anthony to become a part of me. I understood most of the circumstances of the case and her behavior from hearing snippets of news on the radio in the morning and on TV at night; I didn't need the details.
Mostly because I know that whatever she did, she's going to live in her own personal hell for the rest of her life. Do you think she is going to be remotely free? She's in prison whether she's doing time or not. Karma is probably kicking her ass as I write this. Karma will no doubt continue to kick her ass, whether or not anyone actually lays a hand on her.
When the verdict came down as Not Guilty, so many people were outraged. I'm sure the evidence I didn't hear about pointed to her guilt or involvement on some level... but the thing I became concerned with was that so many people wanted to hurt her, wanted to punish her, wanted to see her be hurt or imprisoned. Sitting back from my half-ignorant viewpoint, I thought to myself that the more informed people were about the case, the more they suffered. The more angst and anger they felt.
This takes me back to my original point. Some people sought out that news coverage, while others like myself did not.
People criticize me for my detached perspective sometimes. They ask, don't I care about the world?
Yes, absolutely, I answer. But I also have to sleep at night!
Wishing you pleasant dreams and a happy tomorrow,
Yours,
Jane Q. Phoenix
For example, I was going through the channels on the TV today (I have 12) and there was the religious channel with an angry man talking about the One True Way. He said that the people who call themselves Christians but say that there are many paths to the same realization are just plain Wrong. His way is the Only Way. Everyone Else is a Damn Fool. Well, he didn't use those words, but you can get my drift. It all comes down to: You either believe what I'm saying, which is correct, or you're stupid and wrong. (I didn't watch that guy for too long.)
The only people who watch that show agree with that man, just like the only people who watch news programs that lean left or right are the people who want that spin to the information they ingest. That's just the way it is. If you don't want to see much about celebrities, go with the PBS station; otherwise, you'll be hearing about Michael Jackson and the Kardashians for the rest of your natural life.
I think it comes down to designing your own reality. If you really concentrate on something, it increases in importance in your life and has more meaning.
People also have to decide for themselves what level of negative news that they can handle. Personally, I did not watch any of the Casey Anthony coverage. It has a lot to do with a demanding work schedule and a life that doesn't involve much TV, but there's also the element of: do I really want this information to take up space in my brain? Ask yourself that question about the things you come across. Is this really what I want to become a part of me? I didn't want the idiocy of Casey Anthony to become a part of me. I understood most of the circumstances of the case and her behavior from hearing snippets of news on the radio in the morning and on TV at night; I didn't need the details.
Mostly because I know that whatever she did, she's going to live in her own personal hell for the rest of her life. Do you think she is going to be remotely free? She's in prison whether she's doing time or not. Karma is probably kicking her ass as I write this. Karma will no doubt continue to kick her ass, whether or not anyone actually lays a hand on her.
When the verdict came down as Not Guilty, so many people were outraged. I'm sure the evidence I didn't hear about pointed to her guilt or involvement on some level... but the thing I became concerned with was that so many people wanted to hurt her, wanted to punish her, wanted to see her be hurt or imprisoned. Sitting back from my half-ignorant viewpoint, I thought to myself that the more informed people were about the case, the more they suffered. The more angst and anger they felt.
This takes me back to my original point. Some people sought out that news coverage, while others like myself did not.
People criticize me for my detached perspective sometimes. They ask, don't I care about the world?
Yes, absolutely, I answer. But I also have to sleep at night!
Wishing you pleasant dreams and a happy tomorrow,
Yours,
Jane Q. Phoenix
Wednesday, 30 November 2011
I'm Christian, unless you're Gay goes viral, and other thoughts...
http://www.danoah.com/2011/11/im-christian-unless-youre-gay.html
Single Dad Laughing, also known as Dan Pearce, wrote an essay about a topic near and dear to my heart. You see, Your Jane has seen some pretty bad hypocricy in her lifetime. Most of it revolves around two major hot button areas: religion and politics. And both areas focus on a laser onto gay people.
It always seemed to me that if Jesus said, "Whatsoever you do to the least of my people, that you do unto me," then this should translate into not denigrating some group of people in society or condemning them. However, some Christians really take a stand against gay people, to the point where they hurt people, families, and society. I never agreed with this. I stood up to my homophobic elders and told them they were wrong to ridicule gay people when I was a kid. I stood by my friends who came out and told me they were gay. Don't get me wrong; I'll desert someone in my life for being annoying, or a train wreck, or a jerk, but desert someone because they come out to you? Seriously, where are your priorities?
I know I'll never truly empathize with a lesbian because I'm straight, but boy oh boy, do I ever know what it is to be socially ostracized. It's the lesson that's slapped me in the face so many times during my internment in Winterville. When I read Dan's article, I could really relate to the man he featured, a gay friend in Utah whose friends and family have turned away from him.
I'm lucky in that my family would never do that, but one thing you'll find in life is that the people around you who aren't your friends will reveal themselves as such... and sometimes you find that even if your family sticks by you, they have their own agenda for you that probably doesn't coincide with your own goals and wishes.
I have my books and my poetry to protect me
Seriously, I got to the point in Winterville when my library card was my best friend, and the fun only broke out when I was far, far away. Simon and Garfunkel are damn geniuses with their song, "I am a rock."
A rock feels no pain, and an island never cries.
When going out among people becomes a grueling joke, that's the point when the song makes sense! But as I've said before, coming up with an exit strategy IS the only strategy when you're in a place like that.
Please check out the article; it really gives you a lot to think about.
Yours,
Jane Q. Phoenix
Single Dad Laughing, also known as Dan Pearce, wrote an essay about a topic near and dear to my heart. You see, Your Jane has seen some pretty bad hypocricy in her lifetime. Most of it revolves around two major hot button areas: religion and politics. And both areas focus on a laser onto gay people.
It always seemed to me that if Jesus said, "Whatsoever you do to the least of my people, that you do unto me," then this should translate into not denigrating some group of people in society or condemning them. However, some Christians really take a stand against gay people, to the point where they hurt people, families, and society. I never agreed with this. I stood up to my homophobic elders and told them they were wrong to ridicule gay people when I was a kid. I stood by my friends who came out and told me they were gay. Don't get me wrong; I'll desert someone in my life for being annoying, or a train wreck, or a jerk, but desert someone because they come out to you? Seriously, where are your priorities?
I know I'll never truly empathize with a lesbian because I'm straight, but boy oh boy, do I ever know what it is to be socially ostracized. It's the lesson that's slapped me in the face so many times during my internment in Winterville. When I read Dan's article, I could really relate to the man he featured, a gay friend in Utah whose friends and family have turned away from him.
I'm lucky in that my family would never do that, but one thing you'll find in life is that the people around you who aren't your friends will reveal themselves as such... and sometimes you find that even if your family sticks by you, they have their own agenda for you that probably doesn't coincide with your own goals and wishes.
I have my books and my poetry to protect me
Seriously, I got to the point in Winterville when my library card was my best friend, and the fun only broke out when I was far, far away. Simon and Garfunkel are damn geniuses with their song, "I am a rock."
A rock feels no pain, and an island never cries.
When going out among people becomes a grueling joke, that's the point when the song makes sense! But as I've said before, coming up with an exit strategy IS the only strategy when you're in a place like that.
Please check out the article; it really gives you a lot to think about.
Yours,
Jane Q. Phoenix
Thursday, 17 November 2011
Ramping up for 2012
Amigas, I know that 2012 will be a big year for me and Diva. Once my wordsmithing is done and her witty commentary is in place, we will be published writers next year as our novellas hit the internet. I, for one, am excited, and it's hard to stay on task. Really, I feel like it should already be done, but at the same time, it's not ready, so it's not done, is it?
Ahhhh... as our buddies G+R sang ages ago, we need a little patiences, yeaaaaaaa.
Sometimes I want all the cool stuff to happen NOW. But as they say, the reward of patience is patience. Hmmmmm....
Better get to work on this then.
Love you, amigas and amigos!
-Jane
Ahhhh... as our buddies G+R sang ages ago, we need a little patiences, yeaaaaaaa.
Sometimes I want all the cool stuff to happen NOW. But as they say, the reward of patience is patience. Hmmmmm....
Better get to work on this then.
Love you, amigas and amigos!
-Jane
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