Friday, 25 March 2011

My turn to respond...

Ah, my dear Jane...
First, thank you, I hope the magic 8Ball is right! It's funny how you and I seem to have some similar revelations. Of course, I deserve the best (being the Diva and all...) but recently I also came to the conclusion that love is what matters. Do I love this guy? Yes, whether we're together or not. I do adore him. And I have a choice--to concentrate on his less than positive qualities, or the positive ones? Let's face it. If I concentrate on how he is less than perfect, that is all I will see and my reaction will not be positive. If I concentrate on his better qualities and his strengths, then that is what I'll see. And only good can come of it. So, I'm choosing the good. (and of course, me being Moi, I'm sure that the seesaw of frustration will at some point swing the other way, please remind me of this looking at the positive when it does!)

Now, about The House. What to do? I have noticed that you have much anger and frustration when you discuss the house and I can understand that. Been there. Done that. I am so glad I am no longer a homeowner myself. I was very fortunate to be able to bail just before things went to hell in a pretty little pink hand-basket. However, I can relate to the feelings of frustration that home ownership does bring, nevermind the added stress of feeling stuck in a place that you can't stand.

I think that maybe my situation with the boy and yours with the house can have a parallel. Think about the positive things the house has brought you: a really lovely place to hang your Elvis painting. A home for you and the birdies. A patio to sit on and look out over the pond. A garage to protect your car from the elements. A place to hide KC in the closet! Some really funny stories of roommate hunting. And of course, a really peaceful room for me to oversleep when I visit.

Of course, it's easy for me to spout the things I like about your place when it's not my responsibility to take care of it. I'm just speaking from my own experience from my house. I bought it also with the idea that it's the right, adult, thing to do. It's an investment, blah blah blah, but there were plenty, and I do mean plenty, of times that I had wished I had not bought it, that I'd stuck to renting an apartment with no worries of maintenance or upkeep or the eventual sale.

So, maybe the answer is not necessarily to try and let go of the bad feelings and frustration (because the more you think about them the more you will see/feel them), but acknowledge them, know that they are there, but also look for the happy, positive feelings that you have had (and maybe as a result feel more them??) Yes, you'd like to be out of there sooner rather than later, but remember what the Bard said, "This too shall pass!"

1 comment:

Jane Q Phoenix said...

The Bard also said, "Lord, what fools these mortals be!" and George Harrison has an album called This Too Shall Pass, based on a Buddhist saying. That Bard really got around!