Saturday, 23 April 2011

Becoming Jane

In April 2008, right after THE DREAM, here is what I wrote. I just found it. Amazing.

What Buddhism has done for me:
- help me accept my situation as it is.
- not freak out about money or career
- not be in a rush to get back to "normal"
- to recognize that there is no normal
- stop comparing self to others- money, marriage, career
- accept that I am responsible for the decisions I've made and some of the motivation behind making those decisions
- understand that all things must pass and that life is never perfect
- accept others better for who they are without the need to plot to "teach" them to be how I think they should be
- I think I am more straightforward about what I will and will not accept as far as other people's behavior toward me
- understand that there truly is opportunity in crisis (such as losing your job) and that when you are forced out of your comfort zone, you get to use/ develop new skills and stretch your brain to learn something new... and this is a good thing. Even the current economic downturn will teach a lot of people about priorities.
- taught me compassion for myself. I can't be mean and berate myself about things in the past
- I dont have the sense of entitlement I used to have about earning a living. I feel a lot of responsibility about what I do and how I get money to flow in the door
- acknowledge that there is joy in the chaos of life, in not knowing what comes next
- because all things pass away and change, it's easy to relax, even when things stink, because they won't always stink
- I finally got to meet my spirit guide and his advice was spot-on
- equanimity = it is what it is
- I don't feel so alone. Honestly, it's like I'm a better friend to myself
- I attract better people into my life and I'm more patient with them
- I accept more diverse people into my life than before. I feel less separation based on personal, religious, or political views and feel enriched from the different viewpoints rather than threatened. I realize that I need to be challenged in order to grow.
- By the same token, the ideas I had about finding romantic love have really relaxed. I realize that __ and __ fit the "list" pretty well but fell short when it came to loving me and being a real friend to me. So the old list is really a set of guidelines. Only the elemental is really important.

Post script 2011- I know I don't think this way all the time. I realize I'm far from perfect or even living up to the words I wrote 3 years ago, but if I got there once, I can get there again, right???

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