Every so often, someone enters my life who seems down on their luck, and being a compassionate amiga, I'll take them out, show them around, make them laugh, and do my part to lift their spirits. I feel like it's good karma, and sometimes our relationship will grow into a friendship, sometimes we'll remain affectionate acquaintances... and sometimes I'll feel like I've gained an extra appendage, because now this person desires constant attention from me, and since I don't have infinite patience, will resort to misbehaving just to get some reaction out of me (lest they lose their audience! Perish the thought!)
Take where I live. Please take it! Ha ha. I mean, I live in a state where once you hit about 25 years old, you don't have a lot of dating options. The pickings are pretty slim, if you know what I mean. I've met a lot of women who have just given up on the whole thing, but I can say, after having researched this situation for the past few years... well, it's not life in the college dorms, but it's not the worst. Why, in barren area alone, I have dated a scuba instructor, science nerd, botanist, and guy who defies description within the past two years. I refuse to be all doom and gloom about it. I'm going to go out and have fun and enjoy my life and meet guys along the way like I always have. Every day is a winding road.
However, I used to know (used to know being the operative phrase) some women who harp on the statistics and say that they are doomed, and that they will never meet anyone to date here... and they complain, and they hang around with other women, and they make no effort at all, and they get pissed off at me for going on dates (because I make an effort) and.... well, those people aren't my friends anymore. If you can't be happy for someone for having a date once in a while, then you're not her friend.
It goes well beyond dating and relating to the same sex- it's how we relate to everything. Truly, it's the space in which you can tell if a person is happy for you when you do well and wants to bring up up when you're down (as opposed to loving it when you are down, because that person is down too and now he/she will have company).
I have met several people in the last few years or so who I would consider to be sad sacks. Yes, that isn't the most flattering phrase, but these people have earned it. Rather than being independent and taking care of their own business and loving themselves and doing right by themselves and others to the best of their abilities, they like to lean on others, make excuses for themselves, blame their problems on other people, blow up my cell phones with reports of their drama, whine helplessly, bitch purposefully and generally act as a bring-down to any social occasion.
Well, this is why I wears boots- because sometimes you need to walk away, and sometimes you need to give someone the boot.
Yes, we are all here to figure out how to get along, to love and be loved, to enjoy life and work hard. Absolutely, these are the things that life is all about, and it's important to be tolerant- but there is a line to draw when it comes to people like I've described. It is one thing to be down on your luck, but quite another to be a sad sack.
The rewards of repelling such individuals are endless. You'll get phone calls you actually want to answer, have brilliant conversations that involve more than one person talking, and will enjoy a general feeling of ease. Sometimes this is hard to come by, but the wait is worth it.